I do a lot of traveling; traveling alone with just my old terrier and he, like me, is getting on up there in years.My travel necessitates many stops, stops at truck stops quite often, as they are handy and are easily accessed from the highway and at my age, when you gotta go, you gotta go. Now these oases of the road are fine and dandy and I am glad they are there. Goodness knows there seems to be fewer and fewer bushes here and there due to the efficiency of our highway crews.For quite sometime now though I have felt quite inadequate as I stroll from the pumps to the fine dinning establishments, elimination facilities, and circle the vast parking lots in order to stretch my legs, relieve back pain and most importantly, give my well groomed terrier a break.
My feelings of inferiority is seemingly complex at first glance, for my feelings of inadequacy rest mainly with the magnificent, large smooth "tire thumpers" which are often times carried by my fellow travelers.Never mind the fact that my little 15 year old Chevy S-10 is dwarfed by all the 18 wheelers, camp trailers and indeed 4x4s driven my dazed looking soccer moms.That is not the problem...no, no, no!I have been traveling all this time without a really big and intimidating thumper! Oh my God...the humility!I gave this some thought, this inadequate feeling of mine, and came to the conclusion that I was suffering from "Thumper Envy or Thumper Inferiority," if you will. I do not smoke cigarettes or dip snuff, thereby I have no worn round patch in my jeans, nor do I wear a ball cap.No, I smoke a pipe, wear a broad brimmed fedora and at times chew gum. (I confess that I am thinking of rolling up an empty box of cigarettes in my T-Shirt sleeve though.)You can see my problem?Ultimately , and slowly I narrowed the primary problem down to the lack of a big thumper that I could display hanging or swinging from my wrist and I started paying attention to the thumpers people displayed.
The shinny metal type thumpers seemed a bit too high tech, not primitive enough to convey the message I was trying for.The skinny plastic ones simply would satisfy no one as far as I was concerned. The home made ones screamed poor workmanship and lack of foresight for the most part, and a simple ball bat was, well, sort of desperate looking and a bit phony; a lot like a 85 pound woman who has stuffed her bra with tissue paper. No, I needed something that said "primitive...hear me roar...I am a thumper master!"
After much searching I came across this RoadPro RPTT-1 19.Wood, lots of wood! A man needs lots of wood to my way of thinking...or at least as I remember it. The shape said "look at me...I can thump with the best of them."It is long enough to be effective, has the girth to impress anyone, convey a strong message, and yet is short enough to thump without causing tennis elbow or scare the timid or give the appearance of one who is constantly flaunting his thumper.I bought one!
Now not wanting to appear to be clean, untouched, inexperienced and desperately wanting appear "The Old Hand," I took my thumper and bashed some trees with it in the backyard to give it a used look.I carved six small notches in it (sort of Billy the Kid kind of thing), and then hit the side of my green painted barn and red shed to show some paint stains.I rubbed some brownish shoe polish in the cuts I had made on it to make it look worn and used.I would have used axle grease but did not have any and my wife would not let me use the last of our cooking oil that day.
Well folks, this thumper has changed my life on the road.No longer do I feel inadequate.I got myself a pair of leather gloves, cut the fingers out of them and found a rusty chain for the hound.I note now as I strut around the parking pads that I get sideway looks from the guys; fearful and envious...I have no doubt, and have received some very suggestive "come hither" looks from the girls who always seem to be in the travel vans at the back those places!Never mind that I am as old as dirt...this thing has given me added vigera..I mean vigor.Now rather than looking like an old guy shuffling here and there in an aimless way, eyes to the ground not wanting to make eye contact with those with large thumpers; simply looking for a place to pee, I have the appearance of the grizzled old guy...you know...the "been there and done that kind of fellow...don't mess with him...look at that size of that guys tire thumper!"
The terrier has not changed much...he still hikes his leg on all the truck tires, takes a dumb out by the curb, and investigates food wrappers and sacks.He is not impressed. I do note that he is not overly happy with the chain though and will have to so something about that.
And by the way... I am constantly thumping my tires with this thing, in a very "knowing way," and have yet to figure out what the heck I am listening for. Is it suppose to go "thoing," thud," blonk," "twang," or what?I cannot adequately change a tire, much less figure out the subtle sounds it makes when struck.That is okay though, as I did not actually buy this thing to thump tires anyway.
I recommend this product highly.It will do wonders for your self esteem and if you know what you are listening for, I am sure will do you a fine job in testing y our tires.
Don Blankenship
The Ozarks
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RoadPro RPTT-1 19" Assorted Dark or Light Wood Wooden Tire ThumperProduct Description: Save time and money and ensure stay safe on the road with this handy tire thumper. Made of durable solid wood with a ridged handle for a sure grip, this thumper gives you a quick, easy way to check tires for low air and road damage to keep you on safely on the road. Another great innovation from RoadPro, your trusted travel companion, bringing the comforts of home to on-the-go living.
Buy cheap RoadPro RPTT-1 19" Assorted Dark or Light Wood Wooden Tire Thumper now
Well constructed but too dark a tan for my vehicle. Amazon refunded $ w/ no problems.
